Relishing Motherhood

Michal from Relishing Motherhood is having a writing contest. The topic is basically your thoughts on motherhood or as she put it an Ah Ha moment. I really haven't ever done anything like this but, I have recently put a few of my thoughts together and figured what the heck.

Being a mother has changed me. It has taught me things that I did not even know I needed to learn. It has tested me and stretched me into a person I am just getting to know.

Twenty years ago, as I was anticipating the birth of my first son, I realized that now my life was no longer about me. All of my thoughts, dreams and actions were focused around this new little spirit. I was excited and ready to take on the challenge. The minute he was placed in my arms I was changed forever.

Along this journey I have had many wonderful experiences. Looking back however, it has been the difficult experiences that have been the most rewarding. Isn’t it ironic? It is the latter that I have chosen to write about today.

It was a Wednesday night in early February. As we sat down to eat, my three year old son Justin pulled the cord on the electric skillet spilling boiling oil onto his head and arms. We spent many sleepless nights in the burn trauma unit. It was physically and emotionally almost more than I could bear. Nothing is as difficult as seeing your child suffer.

Once we knew that his life was no longer threatened, my list of worries began to change. I mourned the loss of my perfect, beautiful little boy. I would stare at his before pictures for hours thinking “what if” and “if only”. It didn’t take long however, to realize that he was still beautiful and perfect. HE WAS JUST THE SAME. Beauty comes from within. I had been taught an amazing lesson and I was changed forever.

Next I remember a long, terrible night. I had noticed some changes in my son Jalen’s normal routine. He was barely eating and always tired. Finally, after a week or so, I took him to the doctor. We found that his digestive system was plugged up. His intestines were compacted and had been for three or more weeks. Needless to say the doctor was concerned and he gave us a few things to try. That night we saw no results. We went back the next day and were given one last option before they would have to schedule surgery.

No one but I would know what that little boy endured that night. For hours his body trembled with pain and his pride was completely stripped away. In between his gasp he would apologize and whisper “thank you mom”. It was physically and emotionally almost more than I could bear. Nothing is as difficult as seeing your child suffer. That night I learned a very difficult lesson about true compassion and I was changed forever.

This last experience is from about six month ago. It was the darkest and most difficult time of my life. My oldest son Jordan was making choices that went against the things that we had always taught him. We were constantly arguing and our home was always a place of contention. I was so tired of it and to be honest I felt like I couldn’t stand it or him anymore.

One night things were especially awful and scary. After hours of heated arguing Jordan grabbed a handful of clothes and walked out the door. He was gone. How could this be happening? It was physically and emotionally almost more than I could bear. Nothing is as difficult as seeing your child suffer. This was not my dream when that precious infant was placed in my arms. But I learned a few important lessons that night. I learned to pray. I mean to really pray and pour my soul out to God. I learned to never say never. And I learned unconditional love. It took him walking out the door for me to fully understand how much I truly loved him. That night I was changed forever.

I am grateful for these and the many other things that I have experienced as a mother. These are lessons that I could have learned in no other way. I am humbled that my children were willing to go through these trials to help their mother change and grow. So now twenty years later I think I may have changed my mind; maybe, just maybe it is all about me after all.

Economics 101

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker. ~ Helen Keller

A few weeks ago was the third grade Economics Fair. This is a wonderful activity that teaches the kids about work and the value of money. For a month or so before the fair the students are able to earn "money" in all sorts of ways, turning in homework, doing well on test, listening, staying on task, etc. They also have to pay when they don't do the things on the previous list.

On the day of the fair each child is to bring 30 items to sell at their store. Loni chose to make and sell boondoggles. 30 BOONDOGGLES She also brought nail polish to paint nails.

The boondoggles were a big hit. When I arrived she had almost sold all of her goods including the one that I was hoping to get. Darn, I guess the early bird gets the worm.

Her nail painting was also a favorite. She even had a few unexpected customers. It is amazing what boys will do for a pretty face.

The day was a complete success. Not only did she sell out, she was able to purchase all sorts of treasures: beaded necklaces, playdough, painted rocks, handmade cards, erasers, bookmarks, and I could go on. This was a fun way to teach about the value of work. A big thanks to Mrs. Godfrey for such a wonderful lesson.

"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary"

When it comes to work, I am not a big fan. There are times that I would almost rather do anything else. But looking back it is the work that I have done for my family that has brought me the most joy. I love the feeling of cooking a nice meal or knowing my kids have clean, matching socks. It is so rewarding to paint a room or finish a science project. There are so many things that I dread but feel such a sense of accomplishment when completed.

"Work IS love made visible"~Kahlil Gibran (Simple Abundance)

When it comes to work these are the rooms that I think of.

Our Kitchen-where our family usually hangs out.




Our Laundry/Bathroom I love this room it totally makes doing laundry happy!

When Your Hut is on Fire!

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost.. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?"

Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

This morning I rolled out of bed with a little less bounce than usual. I knew this day was coming, but it has arrived much too soon. Today I officially start packing. PACKING!! I'm not ready! Can this really be happening? Why me?!?

I decided, rather than jump right in, that I would hurry and check my e-mail. Boy was I glad that I did. This story had arrived just in time and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Joanna, you were inspired!

I know that things will work out. We are only moving a few miles away. It will be fun decorating a new house. All we need to do is wait for our ship to come in. I'm sure it's on it's way!














Our Living Room













Our Eating Nook


Master Bedroom


Master Bath


Golf Bathroom

I wanted to document the rooms in our house before they get too torn up. I will put up a few rooms every day or so.

Boys To Men

Well I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day. Mine was better than I could have imagined. My kids and my Sweetie did everything they could to make it a perfect day. I was served a delicious breakfast, Justin did an amazing job making me look good in his talk for Sacrament Meeting, and Loni's talk in primary was darling. We had bar-b-qued ribs for dinner and then roasted marshmallows in our newly dug fire pit that evening. How did I ever get so lucky? Hmmm was it luck?

Let's go back a couple years. It was right around Christmas time. My sister Erin was up for the weekend and heard my oldest son Jordan ask me what I wanted for Christmas. I quickly responded that I didn't need anything and he should save his money for something more important. The same answer I had been giving for every occasion that involved gift giving for years. Well Erin quickly let me know that she thought I was making a big mistake. She reminded me that I was preparing my 4 boys to one day be husbands and fathers. She believed that their future wives would not be pleased with spouses who were trained in this way. And of course she was right!

I guess I remember being young and wandering all over a store with no idea what to give my mom or dad. Of course I knew they were fine with anything. I still worried. And so I thought I was saving my kids from the stress. But my eyes were opened.

So, what to do? I wanted gift giving to be fun and positive. I wanted my boys to feel successful and excited with their choices. Here is what has worked for me.

A few weeks in advance I start dropping reminders of the upcoming occasion. For example, "Can you believe my birthday is in 3 weeks?". Then I make a list of things I want and need. I am still pretty easy to please and my lists usually consist of pretty simple things.

Now you might think that knowing everything you are going to get doesn't sound like any fun at all. But it sure has worked for us. On Mother's Day morning my kids, even the big and tough ones, couldn't wait for me to open their gifts. It was awesome!

Here was my Mother's Day wish list:

sunglasses
a book
body wash
flip flops
ankle socks
lotion
lip gloss with spf 15
a wallet

Guess what?? I got it all. But I never imagined that Loni would paint me picture and pick out sunglasses as cool as these.



Or that Jordan would have picked out (all on his own) this book.

Justin bought me this cool black wallet and threw in TWO-1 1/2 lb bags of Reese's Pieces (my all time fav. treat). I also got enough socks that I can wear a new pair every day for just over two weeks. Heavenly!!! Jalen got me body wash AND a new pouf. Yippie! From Johnny I got a great picture of him, a fabulous letter and a cute pair of black flip flop. (my flip flops are always black)

Everything I wanted and more. So, I am proud to say mission accomplished. I think my boys are heading in the right direction. Thank you Erin.

The Perfect Choice

Yesterday in church we were discussing Adam and the fall. Someone commented that Adam made the choice to disobey. The teacher then asked, "Was it a bad choice?". "Because" she said "I think it was the perfect choice!"

That got my wheels a turn'n. We have been taught to "liken the scriptures unto us". Could the bad choices we make be part of the plan? Would our Heavenly Father only set up this scenario once? And if so, why would it be important that we know about it? Hmmm it makes me wonder.

My son Jordan is in the process of figuring things out for himself. He is not sure of what he believes and has made a few choices that have been difficult for me to accept. Have some of his choices been bad? Absolutely! Will there be consequences? Of course, just as there were for Adam and Eve. But, could they be the perfect choices for him? I don't know! I have never really thought about it in this way. I wish I could see the bigger picture. I guess that only time will tell. It is an interesting concept.

This I do know. He is a wonderful young man and I know that he will accomplish great things in his life. He is talented and loving and I am grateful that I was chosen to be his mom.

Keep Moving

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." -Will Rogers

Yesterday I found my retainer. I had left it in my suitcase when we went to California last Thanksgiving. To my complete horror I couldn't even get it on. This can't be happening!! My braces were taken off 4 years ago. I want straight teeth! But, do I have to work on it for the rest of my life? Gee Whiz

Hmmm that made me think!! There are so many things in my life I need to work on. Will I ever get there and where is there? Sometimes I think I'm there, then I realize that I'm not even on the right road. Life is a CONSTANT battle. Winston Churchill said "Success is never final" Really?? Never? Depressing isn't it? Or maybe it is a blessing.

Yes I have a long way to go. But boy I sure have come a long way. I have found that when I am not pressing forward, I am moving back into my old comfortable ways, just like my teeth. And I am certainly not going to let that happen!

Staying on Top

Jalen at his match 3/18/08

President Hinckley dedicated his book WAY TO BE!, "to a generation of young people who will rise to meet the exciting opportunities of a new and challenging day".

I couldn't read that statement without thinking of my 13 year old son Jalen. As I look down the list of "Be's", he's got them all. And the attribute that especially stands out is BE POSITIVE.

This year Jalen decided to give wrestling a try. My first instinct was to talk him out of it. Jay is my mellow, not real aggressive child. I wanted to protect him from being hurt physically as well as emotionally. Isn't that what mommies do? But, I held my tongue and my breath and waited to see what would happen.

As the season was ready to begin Jalen reported that there were 4 boys in his weight division. They had all challenged each other and Jalen came out in the varsity spot. I was delighted and so proud of his effort. Jalen wasn't even surprised. In fact, he expected it. What an example!

This season has been tough. He is still learning the in's and out's of the sport. But he gives it his all and fights to stay on top. Wrestling is like life. It is easy to let yourself get down and takes a whole lot of effort to stay on top of things.

"In my ninety-plus years, I have learned a secret. I have learned that when good men and good women face challenges with optimism, things will always work out! Truly, things always work out!"
President Gorden B. Hinckley

"Rhino" By Jalen 2008

Honesty is the Best Policy

How many times have we told our kids that they should ALWAYS tell the TRUTH. Well last Thursday I had to learn my lesson the hard way.

My friend called me at about 1:00 p.m. She was out running errands and wanted to stop by and pick up her daughters dance shoe that had been left in my car the night before. I panicked!! I still had breakfast dishes sitting on the table and was laying around in my PAJAMAS reading. Yes at 1:00 in the afternoon.

Yikes! I had to think fast. "Um, I'm not home." It was the best I could come up with. "But since Johnny is off track, I will have him go set it on the porch." Whew, that was a close call. I grabbed the shoe and opened the door to place it in the newly assigned spot. And to my complete horror, there she was in my driveway. I wanted to shrivel up and die!

She started crack'n up. The situation was pretty hilarious and it was a great item of conversation at our once a month girls lunch the next day. But I can't get it off of my mind. This is a great friend. Will she wonder now at what else I have lied about? Will she still consider me a person of integrity? Will she trust me the way that she has in the past? The sad thing is, she wouldn't have even cared if I was in my pajamas. I am being tormented by something that didn't even matter in the first place.

So some advice: NEVER tell a lie. No, not even a silly little one. "We believe in being honest" and now I know why!!

The Mist of Darkness

At church I teach the 15-16 year old Sunday school class. I LOVE it! In fact this is quite possibly the best kept secret in the church. I get to spend time with the wonderful, fun, and smart youth of our ward. But still, they don't know as much as me and my weeknights are free. It's perfect! I don't get nervous or feel intimidated. I actually enjoy and look forward to the time we spend together.

As this year started out our lesson was on Lehi's vision of the Tree of Life. Oh brother...Haven't we all heard this one a million times. Oh well, what do you do? I taught the lesson. I drew each object on the board. We talked about what they represented. Lesson complete! Let's move on.

Then it happened. A month or so ago I had an experience that I will never forget. I woke up at about 2:00 a.m. and I could see it, my chalkboard, cartoon drawing of Lehi's vision. Why didn't I get it before? The iron rod went right through the mist of darkness, not around it, not over it, but right through it. To make it to the Tree of Life (eternal life) we ALL must make it through the mist of darkness. Why did this matter? I was in the mist!

Last October my oldest son Jordan received his mission call. Yippie!! Our family was so excited. This is what we had been anticipating for his whole life. We couldn't have been happier. We all got busy preparing for his departure. But then, a month and a half later the bubble popped. He "changed his mind". He decided that he was scared and wasn't sure of what he was doing. He wanted time to think about it, and he was moving out. What? I couldn't believe what was happening. I felt helpless, scared, worried, mad, confused, embarrassed, devastated, etc. I didn't know what to do, or how to help. We prayed, fasted and attended the temple. And then he left. It was the darkest time of my life. How could God let this happen to my sweet son?

I continued with the normal routine. But, I was being overcome by doubt. We had tried to hold regular Family Home Evenings. We had been reading the scriptures together. We had been praying, and attending church as a family. Now I wondered why we bothered? What was the point if this was going to be the outcome? I was loosing my grip on the rod.

I have learned a lesson. Life is not going to be an easy ride. Not for anyone! We all have to make it through the yucky, scary mist. I am not the same person I was six months ago. Our family is stronger, our prayers have purpose, we are learning to rely on the Lord and as long as we can hold on, we are going to be okay.

"Oh thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt." matthew 14:31

The Will to Win

This year Justin started school at a newly built high school. The decision was made that Seniors wouldn't transfer over, allowing them to graduate from the school that they felt loyal to. So Justin, as a Junior, is the oldest at the school and will also be in the first graduating class next year.

Fun for Justin. Not so great for the athletic dept.

A few weeks ago the school held their soccer tryouts. Congratulations to Justin for not only making the team, but for also being voted the captain. At the parents meeting we were informed that besides obviously not having any Seniors, there are only 5 Juniors on the team. "Oh my gosh" I thought "We are going to be slaughtered"

Friday was the first game and I am happy to announce that our team came out and played like champions. The game ended with a score of 4-0. Justin played the whole game and actually scored the 4th goal. He gave it his all and it was so exciting! No one expected this win (especially not the other team). It seemed impossible. But luckily these boys believed they could do it, and they did. Way to go guys.

"Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools." Napoleon Bonaparte

Why Not Today?

Yesterday I had a long talk with Johnny. He loves gymnastics, trains for 3 and a half hours-4 days a week, and is doing a phenomenal job. However, he continues to struggle on the pommel horse. It's a tough event, especially for an 11 year old. He has yet to complete his routine without falling. When I ask him how he is doing, his answers are something like: "it's impossible", "I'll never be able to do it" and "I suck".

As a mother I am constantly looking for ways to motivate him. I know that most of the problem is his attitude. Each day when I drop him off at the gym I have him repeat a quote I love "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right" (Henry Ford). He says it, but does he believe it? Obviously not!

So, we talked. Together we agreed that one day he would get this routine. One day he would move on to harder skills. One day he would look back and think that this routine was a piece of cake. And then I looked him in the eye and said "Why not today?" As soon as I said it I knew it was perfect. It was inspired. In an instant our lives were changed.

There are so many things I don't try because I say to myself "It's impossible", "I'll never be able to do it" and "I suck". Today however, I woke up and thought of a few things that I have been wanting to do, but because I am too lazy, too complacent, or too scared, haven't. Then I immediately heard the words "why not today?". I couldn't come up with any good reasons.

Today I am starting a family blog. Today I am going to look into taking a few classes at the university. Today I am going to start writing a book that I have been thinking about for a while. Today is an adventure. It is exciting and full of possibilities.

Will Johnny get his pommel routine today? You know, I think he just might. Why not?